when niki gets mad

I am frustrated. Very. It is just the little things that he does which ticks me. I have explained for the nth time why he just really drives me crazy. And after a litany of explanations, he has the guts to ask why. Why? I'll tell you why, you imbecilic moron. You so do not get it. I am very easy to talk to, but if you piss me off, I'll go nuclear on your ass. I took all the patience I have to pinpoint his mistakes, or well, shortcomings so that he would be aware of those, but noooooo- he has the decency to bring up stuff that are wayyyy out of the topic. Gah, I feel like I am talking to a 2-year-old. You are soooo ruining my day/night. Bleh.

passive self-expression

why is he like that?
he rarely talks whenever we speak
& he almost never talks about anything-
plus he would rather not talk about "it" at all.
why, oh why am i like this?
it has been 3 days. three days.

mary poppins, minus the umbrella

jf0x says:
dude
NicoLeY says:
ano
jf0x says:
i just got diagnosed with "general anxiety"
jf0x says:
pucha pare
NicoLeY says:
baket
jf0x says:
i'm a few heartbeats away from being prescribed with prozac
NicoLeY says:
nipapansen mo lang ako kapag tinetherapize kita
NicoLeY says:
hahah
jf0x says:
i was feeling crap all week
jf0x says:
i have no idea
jf0x says:
but i feel like sht
jf0x says:
tired
jf0x says:
chest pains
jf0x says:
difficulty breathing
jf0x says:
man
jf0x says:
awww
jf0x says:
am i that twisted already?
NicoLeY says:
lol, nagddrugs ka ba?

I know. What an ungodly thing to say to a guy whom I have been giving mini-therapy sessions for what seem like ages now. Tinetherapize. Haha, is there such a word or did I just cleverly, spur-of-the-momently spit it out. It is funny though, how I try to create my own nikilingo or nikibabble, since sometimes I really do suck at speaking Tagalog so I make up new words as I go along. I'm sure Nyebs is going to be okay. For $50 dollars an hour to a total of $ 1500 per session, who wouldn't be?? Haha, I'm kidding Nyebs. I still think you look like Silas, the albino monk.

I am still getting used to this blogger by night, mommy by day routine. The idea of being a mum
still baffles me at times because everytime I would wake up in the morning, I feel like everything has been a dream. And then I'd literally slap myself awake and look beside me. Oh my, I have an adorable kid with big brown eyes, smiling at me. Charlotte wakes me up in the wee hours of the morning just so she could have her milky. Oh man, I've been getting used to babyspeak for three months now. From the choreographed monkey dances to the well-rehearsed lullabies,I am a one woman show. She has songs for whenever she gets her diaper changed, the poopie time song with a verse that goes, "Charlotte goes poopie time, let's change her diapie", to her bath time song, "Charlotte, Washy, washy". Who could forget her famous "No More Light" video on Youtube which my friend Lyka never gets tired of watching. Trust me, it could get addictive, like the Bloouh baby.

So yeah, that's me being domesticated. I mean I still do have free time for myself, I could always use a little R&R from time to time. That's why I hung out with my BFF Bea the whole day today. I missed her so she came over and we started googling our party dresses with the googleizer. We're throwing this huuuuge birthday bash for her twenty-first and we're both excited about it. Lol, if we couldn't work out the whole nursing career thing, we'll probably end up being party planners or whatever. It is fun to organize an event once in a while.

Time to hit the sack.
Like I would normally say after a burst of pent up emotion
and nonsensical rambling about my day-
TTFN- like the British would say.

Niki attempts to blog again.

At three in the morning, energy drink-induced feeling completely and utterly awake, ( not with the wide-eyed stare Charlotte usually gives me in the morning, I swear that kid has the biggest, googly eyes ever) I finally get back into blogging again, after a year-long hiatus. It's funny how blogging can suddenly turn into an addiction once you know people read your blog, even though it seems like you are talking to yourself and sounding like a complete imbecile. I was actually amusing myself catching up with some celebrity gossip, snooping around celebrity blogs, bloggers and whatnot. Hay, the drama of hollywood & at the height of drama still, these people can manage to look gorgeous from head to toe. Talk about Paris Hilton and her unruly extensions.

I lot has happened the whole year I was on blogger AWOL. I was a workaholic at one point, a tanorexic emo-kid wannabe, a shopaholic splurging on purses and shoes, an on-the-go event coordinator (black&white, anyone?) & the unexpected job of all which I did not regret and am still learning a few tricks of the trade- being a mommy. It can be hectic at times, from the up-all-night marathons to the accidental spit-ups. Ava, charlotte-ing, noelley, or whatever we call her, she's three months old today. And I am just loving every second of this mommy job.

As far as this blog is concerned, I'll still be here, chronologically writing random thoughts, muses and writings for everyone to take pleasure on reading. Be sure to check updates, pictures and more of Charlotte's videos. Cheerio