Where is my mind? Maybe elsewhere- or just floating nearby. I'm currently intoxicated and still hearing the familiar riffs of 'Mariposa' by Sugarfree played live. Last night has got to be the best night ever. John, Angel, Ian and I decked out in our normal and most human clothes ever, were at the NuRock Awards. I never was a rocker. Or at least I pretended to be one, just by swaying my hips and jumping up and down. Rico Blanco rocks! Well, everybody rocks. heheh. So, where exactly is my mind? Going..going, gone.

Currently reading: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. An old man, a young man and life's greatest lesson. It's all good. Blog later- have to catch my next class...

Nicole's friendster profile....

Nicole, people call her Nicky; a soon-to-be-
eighteen, delusional, quirky,enigmatic 17 year old; 5 feet
six;
large brown
eyes; with tangled, lemon scented hair; eldest among four
brothers; only girl; unica ija of my dad; just your
average teenager; plain jane;
eccentric; weird; sarcastic; happy-go-lucky; cynical;
opinionated; straightforward; I’ll-tell-you-if-i-don’t-
like-
you type of girl; could be perky when you tell her; too
aesthetic; religious by nature; typical gung-ho person;
natural born procrastinator; funny when pissed; have very
intense moodswings; aspiring web designer; thinks she’s
supergirl; t.v. and internet junkie; has the ability to
drive you insane; thinks that Tibet should be freed;
believes that being talented takes whole a lot of skill;
loves hot fudge sundaes; loves the
color
pink; ‘taray’ streaked; could live with burger king and
lots of fries; rants whenever she feels like it; just
another face in the crowd; a constant daydreamer; hates
being the center of attention; perfectionist; likes rainy
days; feels overwhelmed when some anonymous admirer sends
her orange flowers; pissed when people misspell
her name; hates people who say things that don’t make
sense; forgives people for no apparent reason ( well, the
guy thwacked you in the back); says ‘uh-huh’ and ‘no way!’
all the time; has very vivid
imagination; reads
paperbacks; wishes she were fearless; prefers to be locked
up in her room; tries on a million different clothes
before
she wears them- ends up picking the ugliest clothes ever;
hates everything she owns; hates the word ‘fisticuffs’,
had
a best friend; nothing special; jumps up and down when
happy; happy with her friends, online and offline; happy
with life

umm, what else? u decide...


needs extensive rewrite. i feel that i am vain....

Adrian is a loser. Adrian has got no sense of humor. Adrian laughs like a hyena. Adrian..umm, okay. This sucks. I've got nothing to write. No, subject matter to discuss folks. I'm just mad. Mad at the world for letting me stay here, mad at my seatmate in sociology. I don't have a seatmate. Mad, at every pathetic loser who come up to me every single day, not knowing I am mad. Okay, I've got nothing more to ramble about. Maybe, I'll just get a latte and everything will eventually be okay.

Adrian is still a loser.

hmmm...128 friends on the friendster list. not bad. the question is, do i know them know them. some. i guess it's just mean not to add people that ask, right? sigh. here i am, on a given sunday, being a bum, in front of a pc. granted, i still feel like i do not have a life or something to smile about.

sigh. there's nothing much to kwento...get me a venti frapp and i'll be hyperly induce you with my endless psychobabble. get me a bacardi, i'll prolly end up telling you my life's sob story. that's me. upfront and real.

so, here i am, back at school. back at the droning room. i've got no classes this afternoon so i've taken this time and opportunity to answer these dumb surveys on my friendster bulletin board. yea, if they're so dumb, why answer them. simple. because i'm bored and i've got nothing else to do so there...granted i have lots of major nursing subjects, i can't even go to the beach! daym! life just really sucks. bigtime.


Message: LAYER 0NE:
-- Name: Nicole Aleja Reyes Maramo
-- Birth date: September 21,1986
-- Birthplace: philippines
-- Current Location: manila
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: black
-- Righty or Lefty: lefty
-- Zodiac Sign: virgo

LAYER TWO:
-- The shoes you wore today: somethin' else
(school shoes)
-- Your weakness: beach, i'd die if i'd go to the
beach
-- Your fears: sadako..heheh..dorm ghosts/'the
incubus'
-- Your perfect pizza: losta cheese and pepperoni

LAYER THREE:
-- Your thoughts first waking up: *school* *ugh*
-- Your best physical feature: lips..daw..
-- Your bedtime: 12am. insomniac
-- Your most missed memory: summertime in
abudhabi. christmastime in abu dhabi. back to
school in abudhabi...everything about abudhabi
(city near dubai..not to be confused with
saudi/ksa)

LAYER FOUR:
-- In love?: uhuh

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: umm...sorta
-- Sing: in the showers..
-- Take a shower everyday: lotsa times
-- Have a crush: a million
-- Do you think you've been in love: just once
-- want to go to college: yea..somewhere else

-- Like(d) high school: totally
-- Want to get married: depends..don't we all?
-- Believe in yourself: sometimes.
-- Get motion sickness: never
-- Think you're attractive: no
-- Think youre a health freak? sometimes
-- get along with your parent(s): sometimes..hehe
-- Like thunderstorms: like music to my ears..i
love the rain. :)
-- Play an instrument: i play the 'kahon'..haha
joke..guitar, piano..noseflute..heheh..i wanna
play the sax..

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- drank alcohol: yea
-- Smoked: uhuh
-- Done a drug: no
-- Made Out: lips are sealed. no. haha.
-- Gone on a date: yea
- Gone to the mall? duh.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Yea! dipped them
all in crumpy
-- Eaten sushi: uhuh
-- Been on stage: yea. that higher platform in
the classroom
-- Been dumped: nada
-- Gone skating: no

LAYER SEVEN:

Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of
clothing: yea. i think. b4..heheh.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: i think
so. can't remember
-- been caught "doing something": hahaha..it
depends..
-- Been called a tease: next question.
-- Gotten beaten up: nah
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nope.never.
i'm a bum and will always be one..

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 23
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 5 or 6
gaia, martin, farrah or some exotic, name..
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: wedding on the
beach
-- How do you want to die: stupid question. next.
-- Where do you want to go to college: harvard
school of law or UCLA
-- What do you want to be when you grow
up: *sings* i wanna be a supamodel..heheh..nah..i
want to be a flight attendant..:)

LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? blue/green...whatever
-- Best hair color? blonde/black
-- Short or long hair: short.clean
-- Height: 6 flat.
-- Best weight: any.
-- Best articles of clothing: oxford shirts
-- Best first date location: beach
-- best first kiss location: neck. joke..no idea

LAYER TEN:
-- # of drugs taken illegally: nada. you wish i
did.
-- # of people I could trust with my life: 500
-- # of CDs that I own: 10 (best cds)
-- # of tattoos: nada.nil.
-- # of things in my past that I regret: a million
-- # of cigarettes you smoke in a day: ....
-- # of times you get horny in a day: :z

I am a sad friendster person.I am just as sad as your are...fine, ignore me..
This is sooo not the day to rant....

Why oh why is everyone addicted to friendster? They might as well call it 'stalkster' because of the people actually wanting to know who's who and whichever. The idea there is to collect friends, not make them. Sigh. I know I'm being a hypocrite, but then again, I don't think having a lot of friends in my friendster list will make me feel accomplished. Granted, I'm still a loser. I am currently hooked up to it because of my friends forcing me to make a really touchy, hallmark card-ish testimonials for them..hehehe, you know who you are ;) I've been spending countless hours sitting in a net cafe for this. Double sigh. I know I'm not making sense these days, as always.

Since I'm in my Carrie Bradshaw mood, I'd spill on the 'stimultating' details of my life, in the city. Minus the sex. I am currently contemplating on which book to read and what to have for dinner. Honestly, RP is starting to bore me. Ugh. I'd probably order Chinese in a while. At least pigging out later won't make my weekend so bad. There's more to life than friendster. Believe me, once you get caught up, there's no one stopping you.

Ha, New blog. For my alter ego. She wishes to express herself. Intellectuals, beware. It's a bizarre rollercoaster of emotions engulfing her. Lol. Liyam told me I like to refer to myself as the third person. Haha, so true. Like Tarzan. Nicole wants to eat. Nicole wishes she can kick ass. Nicole will end up reading a 500 page novel the whole night. Yada,yada,yada. Nicole will be a lazy bum for the rest of the sem break. Scratch that, a lazy beach bum. There. I said it.




www.geekgirlgoddess.blogspot.com

Back. Yes, still alive but not kicking. Being seventeen doesn't make me feel old. Wouldn't it be much cooler if I had gotten a driver's license and a car. Sigh. The world would be a better place to live in if Nicole Maramo had a car...and some gas money. I have to be patient. Gah.

I feel sick, I look sick and I am sick... Our semestral break is finally here. After all those intensive nights of cramming in the study hall with an 'incubus' around bothering you at 3 in the morning. Well, almost, because we were all forced to attent this stupid CPR and First Aid training for 5 goddamn days. Can be pretty nerve-racking. That's a day in a life of a pre-med student for you. With any luck, I might make it to our capping. *Drums fingers* I'm getting this awful migraine. Well, given any day these past few weeks, I feel seriously stressed-out and tired. Maybe now is the perfect time time to unwind...I'll probably crash at Angel's house and watch Bush's Air Force One land on T.V...I swear, CNN can be pretty addictive with couch potatoes like me...

I've got a great idea..why not demote my status from being a couch potato to a beach bum..Boracay, anyone?

I'm going on hiatus. Can't exactly blog what's on my mind anymore. For once, in my life, I've got nothing to say. Maybe it kind of provokes the conflicts that's going through my head. I don't know what to believe anymore. Maybe that's one of life's greatest mysteries. (-Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist) That's all for now folks. Adios

;,(

It's raining hard again.Here I am stuck in the net cafe, with Donna, my room mate. Both of us are hella bored out of our minds, so we'd rather be stuck here playing trivia in #Asiana...I am such a geek.

You know people could never actually get bored with IRC- when there's trivia. Except for the fact that the IRC users who always but the hell out of you with their usual lame pick-up lines like 'hav pic?' or 'wats ur vitals stats?'...Err, what the hell, does he even speak English?? Talk about pathetic.

But honestly speaking, the keyboards here really suck and the pc is too slow. Sigh. What's more worse is, okay so as I was sitting here in this crammed booth, I accidentally bumped into my Logic professor Mr. Vega, who was actually sitting right next to me. Our funny professor, whom we stayed up late for (cramming for our midterms) as he appeared on tv show Debate as one of the panelists. Uncanny, Isn't it? I tried so hard not to gawk, cuz' he gave me a fair 92 on my Midterm average. Not bad, considering I thought I'd actually flunk his subjects. Memorizing facts and fallacies, with the Argument ad hominems and all. They just make me go beserk. What was my immediate reaction when I saw my Logic professor on the next booth? Nothing. Can't see, can't hear. Just mumbling like an idiot until he recognized me as one of his super annoying students. I have this habit of sort of pissing of my teachers and asking them politically incorrect questions drawing them into an argument. Now, that's logic.

Back to my daily ranting. They're actualy playing sentimental songs here- in an internet cafe. Sheesh. I was with Adrian last night and he told me he was leaving. Nothing more to rant in my part coz' he's leaving on Monday anyway. Let's be more realistic. Oh well, two more weeks till my birthday....I prolly will end up staying in the dorm and sleep through the whole month of September....I wish

On the lighter side of things, my weekend isn't THAT bad as I expected it to be. Not at all. While escaping from my 'loserness' and 'geekdom', I managed to find time to hang-out at Thess's house and we didn't sleep 'till 10 in the morning. It was me, myself (counted as two including my politically incorrect, hyper-active, caffeine induced alter ego, and my diabolical, egocentric, evil self..heheheh) Sharon, Thess and Ian. All we did was fool around and talk all dayyy. Gab, gab,gab..yada, yada, yada.

We watched 2 Fast and 2 Furious, the B-rated sequel to Vin Diesel's blockbuster, which wasn't bad because the chase scenes were all over the place. Too bad Vin Diesel wasn't there anymore but then again Paul Walker is pretty okay. I'm not into the 'praising-celebrity-gods' kind of thing. And I'm definitely one of those girls who actually have posters of hunk celebrities, which I find so hard to understand. I like fast cars. Lol. 'A View from the Top' was pretty funny the second time around. Watched it again with my girlfriends. It's really nice to unwind and relax after a mind-blowing series of my midterm exams. What more could we girls want than to enjoy a movie-marathon of chick flicks. Gwyneth's flick. Alex and Emma. Sigh. I am exhausted from watching way too many movies. I didn't get much sleep. *Yawns* Bad vibes! lol.

Oh yeah, my mom and dad called. As always, asking where I am, the works. god, I miss them. My mom's prolly gonna be home on October anyway, no need to fuss over it. She won't be here for my birthday though. Double sigh.

Well, at least today I have something to rant about granted I still do not own a pc.

My week has been HELL, nuff said. I have been through a whole lot these passed few days. First, my grades, which are sorta ok, but they're not that high though, nothing much to expect from doofus li'l ol me who always procrastinates given a chance to cram. I'm adding up to the sum total of the population of the Paulinian freshmen, who whine and gloat about my 86s any given day. I am not grade-conscious..well, sometimes.

Then, there's Mr. Oh-my-god-I'm-so-into-my-girlfriend, who nearly gave me a cause to nearly drop dead on the floor. Well, it could happen to anyone, right? Doesnt change the known fact that I'm still a loser and boyfriendless. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

Problem no. 3 is making a detour to the worse possible classroom mayhem ever! Now I know how Gloria feels. It's so goddamn hard being the leader but WTF..I'm just doing my friggin' job for crying out loud! Some of my pathetic classmates have attitude problems. They complain about my job, as if they're responsible enough. I wish I had a brain... Besides, they can't impeach me, I'm popular..bwahahaha. *sigh* I guess a lot of people hate me now. :s

Hmm...Niki's not blogging. I wonder what she's been up to.... At least she manages to be perky and happy and all. While a lot of us are minding our own businesses, sipping our mocha frappuccino's at SBC, living our daily friggin' lives, I'm here, in school, and it's almost the weekend. I've got no classes tomorrow and I'm ready to sulk all weekend.

That's it. I'm done ranting. You people can shoot me now.

One-liners

Omg, 'View From the Top' is soooo goddamn funny...hahaha Gwyneth Palthrow is so uber-cool!

Mike Myers: You put the wrong em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-LA-ble.

Gwyneth: You're breaking up with me... in a birthday card?
Boyfriend: Well, they don't make "breaking-up" cards.

Eventually, after calming down, with huuuge amounts of coffee, I'm gonna be okay.

Why oh why am I soooo not in a good mood....:( I'm really in for some vile, sad awakenings- I realize that blogs, are meant for losers like me, me, and a bunch of other losers like me. No, scratch that, blogs are for people who just want their thoughts to be heard. Tangina talaga! Yea, go on, arrest me. But when people actually are pissed, they say things they SO DO NOT want to say. Here I am contemplating on the thoughts that are whirring in my head. I know they're all sorta mixed up. Scatter. regroup. scatter. regroup. I just hope that some fucked up lunatic will break down the door and shoot me in the head. The Lady doth protest, methinks. As if Shakespeare could do anything about it...go figure.

It's just that I am not used to getting what I want. Life is soooo unfair....Waiting in vain would prolly let my heart end up in a doggy bag...

Earlier, Before English 101

6 places I wish I were, but I
weren't:

*MyPad Net Cafe... the PCs here are sooooo slow...
*The beach...somewhere off the coast of Ibiza. Anywhere but
goddamn Manila..It's raining cats and dogs here!
*Abu Dhabi. god, I miss this place.
*SBC...I need a latte-better yet a mocha frappuccino
*Libis, QC...on a rainy day?....hmmm...
*Dorm. I'd rather sleep rather than listen to my professor's
analysis of the works of Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I hate typos. I really do. Judging from my recent blog
entries, I have tons of them. Ugh! I seriously have to get a
laptop. This, internet lab thing is so not working for me. Plus,
the PCs are wayyy too ancient. I have to drum my fingers a
couple of times before the IE window pops up. Sigh. I'm actually
doing Jean's report right now, since I'm in a good mood.
Unfortuntately, these friggin' computers are giving me a
migraine...Nothing much to rant about. Still felt like reading a
good book. Any suggestions? Thirty more minutes 'till English...sigh...

I hate life. Granted, I do not have my own room, my own pc, my own freedom. Granted I only get to go home during the weekends but I'd rather wish to stay in the dorm. Granted, I'm just about lazy as any couch potato when I'm at my aunt's house. I miss my old life. This totally reeks.

Oh yeah, my midterms are finished. Yay. No more cramming at three in the morning with 'incubus' ghost touching my hair. *nyeeeh* No more constant bickering and memorizing in the common bathroom. And definitely no more drinking 3-5 mugs frothe just to stay awake. I'm surely gonna miss that.

So now it's back to being pathetic Nicole instead of 'Geek' slash 'Bookworm' slash 'Cramming' Nicole. I've had eyebags the size of Texas ( as if i've seen it and been there). Might as well be called eyemaletas. Langya. Boredom is making me say stupid things. Nicole, queen of Lala land. I'm trapped in my own parallel universe called Lalasville, where everyone will bow to me and hear my wrath. I am so delusional.

Yesterday, I went impulsive shopping again. I went to Rob and as usual the 'kaweirdohans' and the 'kajologans' are everywhere- mingling, the touchy-feelies at everycorner. Weird lebsians here. Jologs guys ober-there decked out in there luau outfits with matching beads around their necks. And as usual, there's the 'wish ko lang' girls at the end of the mall dressed in their Prado clothes and high-heels holding hands with their D.O.M.s. Believe me, it is a pretty pathetic sight...

Instantly, I mad dashed to Topshop and raided their store. Bwahaha. Wala lng. All I got was this purple shirt that would probably make me look like a dried prune. That's Nicole whining, obviously. I should try to stop being a pessimist, yet I enjoy criticizing myself and the people of the mall. Hahaha, I know I'm evil..But not all the Nicoles in the world are pure evil. *sigh* E di yun, I got my favorite Chinese take-out @ Bon Vivant and headed home.

Nicole! Stop ranting! Open mouth, insert foot.

Dawson's Creek Personality Test (yeah, whatever...I'm bored)

You consider yourself to be...
Intoverted.
Your music taste is best described as...
Chick rock, baby.
When it comes to school…
School? You mean, film school, right?
When it comes to love…
Been there, done that. It only screws you up.
When it comes to sex…
You're a virgin…safer still
Your Dad tells you that you're not allowed to go out on a school night. You…
Go out anyway, but not without giving your father an erudite speech proving that you're smarter than he is, and thus have earned the right to experience your nascent adulthood a few years early since you wasted your adolescence on maturity. Using those words.

well...whatdaya know...I'm joey potter..girl on the go..

I am temporarily slacked. Usually my moodiness makes me rant obnoxiously. As soon as the bell rang after my last class, which is Advanced Algebra, I quickly dashed out of the room with Jen and ran all the way to our Comp. Lab. Yeah, four flights down and two detours. Pretty tiring. I've got nothing much to blog about today. I only have to make this short and quick because I have to do some finishing touches on my Gen. Psych. paper which is due tomorrow. I was procrastinating last night, but managed to write a few and it all sums up into one thing. I think Sigmund Freud is an over-sexed loser who just sits in a corner and indulges in his whimsical fantasies. Whoever heard of such absurd things like canes and sticks are symbolizations of...umm..errr...stuff...in our dreams. That is so neurotic.

I overslept as well. I woke up at 10 am and never got the chance to grab some breakfast. Ladeeda. It's lights off in the computer lab...

My day didn't turn out right. I think I woke up in the wrong side of my upper-bunk bed. Or better yet, I think I'm in lala land. Went to the bank this afternoon, to open an account, but the people there won't let me because I have different signatures. Hmmph. What's the dilio?? All I'm saying is, I spent two friggin' hours at the bank (Name with held, heheh) and the could not except my ID because it doesn't have a freakin' signature. And I'm from the middle east, they need to see my goddamn passport... As if they'd care, my passport has this hideous picture of me when I was in sixth grade. Blech. I am wayyy beyond pissed- I just got the ID today, as well. And there right in the middle of the weird, ugly ID, was my disproportioned face grinning moronically. Why do I always look so pathetic in ID pictures. *Sigh*

On Nicole's Post-its:

*Gen Psych Mid-term Project: The story of your life
Write past experiences, events or persons you are closely related to where fixation is centered
Apply Erikson and Freud's stages of development
Deadline August 7.
gah.

* Required for English Plus. Watch the production of The Sound of Music by the AB Communication Arts students @ the Fleur de Lis Auditorium. 4:30 sharp. Tickets at the front desk.
:S

* Saturday
Practicals in gymnastics! Don't be late
duh.

* Meet with Karen @ Megamall. 4pm

Life here in the oh-so-sadistic side of Manila is starting to suck. Big time. I'm staying in the dorm for the weekend and all of my dorm mates are in the comfort of their cozy homes. I stayed for the weekend because I had to finish this friggin' project by the weekend. Hello, life. I tried to write a thing or two, or at least try to remember but my mind came up with a huge blank. I need a rush of caffeine in my blood. Where's coffee when you need one? I need a latte pronto!

How to be spotted as the Sunsilk girl at the UAAP games:

1.) Go to any salon, David's, Ricky Reyes or Freshaire
2.) Have your hair rebonded for thousands of bucks
3.) Go to the UAAP games and make sure you're sitting near the camera...

I know, I'm being sarcastic. Watching tv all daaaaay is turning my brain into mush. Just watched the ADMU vs. UE game on tv. I've been there, but it's actually pretty stimulating to watch the players up close, on tv rather than watching them live from the upper box bleachers. They actually looked like moving dots from way above. Go figure. And that ladies and gentlemen, is the story of my life.

dear daughter,
please use a bigger font next e-mail. what do you think of your dad, very young. buti na lang at may magnifying lens ako. anyhow, don't go out and ride any car alone or with friends unless the driver is a member of the family. be extra security conscious and don't go out without telling tito jun where you are going. try to be a scholar para mas malaki ang allowance mo.
love,
daddy

My dad's e-mail. Ho-hum. Made me laugh and made me cry at the same time. I'm back to being the drama queen again. Was planning to attend the Seventeen Sigaw party, but my friends, being a lazy-bum as I am, decided to cancel... So there's nothing left for me to do but be a couch potato the whole weekend. I think my Algebra homework is calling me...sigh

I wish I were a child again. I pictured myself as a young toddler, who mommy dresses up in cute playsuits, blouses with lots of ribbons and frills, whose hair mommy combs everyday and ties them up in pigtails and who mommy difficultly puts one foot after the other into those cute Mothercare shoes that squeak a lot. I’d say things like ‘dah-dah’ for daddy and ‘to-to-lehyt’ for chocolate. I’d wave ‘goo-boo’ for goodbye and if I’m really lucky, I’d get to play in the park, with my daddy pushing my swing. I was in Oman back in 1987.

I remember these bits of memories a vague fragment of my past, my childhood. Hazy-like I stood in a middle of a park, in my pink jumpsuit, clutching my Ernie doll, I looked at the camera, and showed off the dimples in my cheeks.

It felt good being the only child for a while. I got to enjoy it without even remembering it. What a quirk of fate. Things like this shouldn’t pass without being thought about.

Can't say I'm overwhelmed to be typing here but I'm really glad I'm starting to find comfort in writing passages again. It's a crazy world we're living in here, and somehow, journalizing my thoughts makes me feel accomplished as a person. A whole lot of things has opened up for me...as if these opportunities are swallowing me. Gah! I'm being melodramatic again. Stop and think Nicole. You are your own person living independently. Some things are bound to change, whether you like it or not...