It's funny how you are looking for the perfect guy, the guy whom you thought would sweep you off your feet when you are oblivious of the world around you and when chaos conflicts within. The guy who would be your prince out of nowhere, who would pamper you with poppies (my favorite), sickly sweet poems, Shakespeare sonnets, the works. And who would actually be there when you think the world is so cruel to you. He would be there, just waiting forever, outside your dorm- at the Malvar gate. Waiting, with the expression in his face so full of concern and worry, just because you have been crying forever and you have no idea what to do. And then it hit you- that's when you realize that you haven't been the perfect girl for him. So why bother coming. He just left you hanging.
I realized this today after the theft, the grades, the confession, the confusion. And then there's the break-up. Everything happened so fast. At least there are friends to fall back on to. To lean on. To watch you scarf down an oreo cheesecake and strawberry belgian waffle with caramel frappuccino and listen to you say, "No, I'm not depressed, I'm okay." To make you feel better and to cheer you up even if you aren't in the mood for silly puppet shows. Crazy otcho-otcho dances that would drive you insanely mad with laughter. I love you guys, you know who you are. :)
It feels liberating. I knew that things would not work out. I keep on expecting. What's there to expect? When you know that he's not like that. So I guess I'm free again. I broke free from the grasp of a possible relationship that is not right for me. I need some time for myself, to succumb the life of singleness- Girl-bonding sessions, walks at the beach, reading, cappuccino-sessions with people who make my life meaningful, just by the good conversations, movie marathons, road trips, tambay-slash-inuman sessions with the barkada. It feels good to be back to my own sweet, sarcastic self. I am your worst nightmare. Hehehe. I hope Chris is happy about it.
Was singing the 'So much for my happy ending' line by crooning Avril for the nth time. Complete with guitar riffs. I guess for the first time after I turned eighteen, I'm happy, even if ironically, my happy ending wasn't the one I expected. Sembreak had just officially kicked off, but I still have some official business at school. After that I'll be working on my How-to-make-my-sembreak-more-productive list. Anilao, Batangas here I come! :)
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i miss you cole...i miss our walk to AD mall with panda and aids, remember, after the rain, we were at your place fooling around, taking shots of aids's ass, then we decided to head on AD mall...as silly and cheesy as it sounds i miss those times, i miss you girls so damn much. I hope you feel better..if its any consolation i do read about you everyday and see whats up and whats new with my cole...and well it seems your going thru a toughie at the moment, im glad you've got people around to fall back on, i just wish you guys are here..man! i simply miss you all..katie and i are still good friends and we miss you...we go to SBC alone and we reminise bout the good ol' days, dang! anyway i've got a site as well if your interested hit me up www.xanga.com/miniminx33 careful, my man doesnt know about it and i trust you...get my drift? we don't need a genius to figure that one out...I miss you girl! Take one day at a time. I love you..
x0x0x
Ghie14
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